i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
