The best revenge is premature balding
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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