ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't think brook has ever known best
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No subtext here. People are naked.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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