thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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