she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
