u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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