So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
