I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
