my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize