I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
