These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
