glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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