Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
