Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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