The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
