it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize