nut hugger
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Soap is not a condiment
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
