Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize