I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just invented taco cereal.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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