dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
