I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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