I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
