We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
