One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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