But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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