yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
