covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
