She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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