dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We got so high we made milksteak
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
