you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
