my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
