It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is wine microwaveable?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
