I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
