would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize