The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
