Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
