Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
