everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
