My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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