life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
