I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
