i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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