Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize