He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
