im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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