I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
