Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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