the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
