I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
