Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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