Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
