we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
