He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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