K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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