I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
