they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
