They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
