well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
