Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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