why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
