When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
