ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
